Said Sadly
by aero-hgsb
Summary: The toughest question ever asked of Hermione by the one person she can't refuse. How far will Harry go to get what he wants? What will it take to save them all?
1. Where do I fit in?

I've never really written a story before and I have no idea how to go about this, so here is my best shot.

**Disclaimer**: This story belongs to me, the characters do not. Their words and thoughts belong to me, and again, the characters do not. I'll keep dreaming though.

**Chapter One**: Where do I fit in?

"Harry that's an unreasonable request, I cannot believe you would even come to me with this! What are you thinking? Are you out of your damned mind?" Hermione asked tersely on the Hogwarts express as the trolley rolled by, trying to keep her voice down.

"Really Hermione, if you could just calm yourself—" and was interrupted by Hermione again, "What the bleeding hell do you mean "calm yourself"? Calm myself? I'll give you calm!" She took out her want and performed an uppercut like movement, leaving it directly under his chin.

"If you ever say anything like that again I will hex you, you'll live longer than Nicholas Flamel!" she huffed and sat down on the seat opposing Harry primly, adjusting her pleated skirt.

"Anyways," he began and saw that Hermione had not had her last say, "Silencio," and her moving mouth was no longer making sound.

"As I was saying, my death would most likely stop all of the events from happening, Hermione you really have to consider this," he paused for a moment, deep in thought.

"I've given a lot of time to this idea, everyone is dead because of me, you don't understand. You never will, you wont see their faces in your dreams, you wont wake up screaming..." he whispered at last, "and hopefully.. if this works, you'll never have to."

He finally removed the charm and waited for her to rain curses on him, scream, and possibly break his bones. He cringed at the last thought and ruffled his hand through his already unruly black hair, simply staring at her intensely.

"Not saying I approve this, or am willing to do this, but how would you want me to go about this?" Hermione asked expectantly, crossing her legs and leaning forward, interested.

"I'm glad you're coming around," Harry said excitedly, feeling odd at being happy for his possible lack of existence soon, "A time turner Hermione, you're the brightest witch in our 7th year, I think you can figure a way to tinker with it and send you back to the time where my father existed." Harry left off dramatically.

"Oh bloody hell Harry, you don't just leave off with that type of thing, it's not a game."

"Sorry Hermy, what I'm trying to say is that I want you to make my dad fall in love with you." He stopped abruptly, letting the thought sink in.

"No."

Hermione's hands were shaking, she couldn't believe that he actually was trying to plan his own death, this was crazy. She didn't know what to think. A small part of her believed that this might actually be a good idea and she hated that little part of herself, her eyes began to sting.

"I just can't do it Harry, I'm sorry, please tell Ron and Ginny they can come in now," she informed him, setting her hands in her lap as she turned her head ever so slightly to look out the window and watch the foliage roll by as she seemed to fast forward over time.

In a natural movement she let down her golden brown hair, the smooth curls cascading down to her shoulder blades. Over the past summer she had decided that taking care of her appearance wasn't necessarily something to be frowned upon, but instead made one more approachable. As the new Head Girl she didn't want anyone to believe she was anything but friendly and approachable.

As Harry walked back in with Ginny and Ron she turned her head back, giving them a small smile in greeting, turning her head back to the window and blurring her vision. The train ride passed fast after that and the four soon found themselves outside of Hogwarts, in their robes, and off the train.

Hermione pushed through the milling students to reach Hagrid and the Head Boy, who was surprisingly Blaise Zabini, or was it? No, the Head Boy was unfortunately Malfoy; she could now tell seeing the Head Boy badge. She twisted her mouth and continued to saunter over, pulling her robes tight around her body.

"Well, lets gather the first years Malfoy," she snapped and turned to the crowd of people with small stature, "Sonorus," she muttered before addressing them, her voice was then magnified, "First years, over here, follow Hagrid to the boats!" Hermione shouted, waiting until the last first year was ahead, and trailed behind.

"Bleeding hell, you'd think they couldn't walk on their own the way Granger is treating them," Malfoy sniggered with Blaise on his tail.

Hermione merely ignored it, already knowing that this would be a long year, with that thought in mind she climbed into a boat full of first years. The young ones seemed fascinated by her but she shrugged it off, like everything else today and stared ahead.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny waiting for their own boat discussed Hermione in hushed tones, "A bit into herself this year, is she?" Ron left the comment open-end.

"Eh, she's had the rough of it, her Mum's in the hospital and she's Head Girl, she's just thinking a lot, that's our Hermione." Ginny defended her best friend proudly and looked to Harry for support.

"She'll surprise us all in the end, she always does mate," Harry said with a chuckle and clapped Ron on the back, "It's good to be home," and smiled, drawing the two others into a shared understanding.

They climbed into their own boat, laughing and joking their way into the Hogwarts entrance where Hermione waited for them patiently. She really was glad to see them. It had been a long summer. If she wanted, she could probably go to a Muggle College for a doctoring degree of some sort; her nose was in medical books the entire summer trying to find a way to help her Mum.

Lavender Brown found her way over to Ron and snaked her arm into his, Hermione had long been over those two and was grateful to Lavender. She realized that her feelings for Ron were small in comparison to her feelings for someone else.

They settled for in the Great Hall for the feast and waited for the first years to be sorted. Gryffindor had received seven new members, promising young students, if she said so herself.

As the clapping died down the new Headmistress, Xylla, waved her hand for silence, "Friends, witches, and wizards alike. Houses, this is your last warning. I'll see no inter-house fighting this year, it has been a long summer for us all and this year will be longer still. You may now eat, may this year start off with new friendships," She ended with a smile.

"What's with the browbeating speech?" Ron asked.

"I'm not too sure; it's just not the same without..." Harry trailed off.

"We know," Hermione said, holding her hand under her nose to hide her grimace. Hogwarts would never be the same without their beloved Headmaster.

"I don't even bleeding understand how Malfoy came back and is now Head Boy," Harry said angrily through the mashed potatoes in his mouth.

Hermione sighed before explaining, "Malfoys a coward, I suppose he was merely pressured into You-Know-Who's service. Either way he's a spy now, just like the bugger Snape was. I don't trust it at all, but the new Headmistress seems to believe his cock and bull story."

Harry made a strangled noise and glared at the Headmistress. It didn't look like they would have the same relationship Harry and Dumbledore had, Hermione thought to herself. It was a rather funny thought actually, she allowed herself to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Ginny asked.

"I'm really not sure anymore," Hermione said, a little let down with herself, "Well, its off to the common room for me, I'll see you there."

She sat up jerkily and remembered, "Be there fast, I have to go to my own common room after, with Draco," Hermione made a face.

They all got up to follow her and being pros at the moving stairs, they made their way to the Fat Lady in a timely fashion.

"Pride," said Hermione, stepping back so the fat lady could swing open, but remembering that the detailed portrait swings inward. She walked up the stairs and sat on the common room couch. Harry, Ron, and Ginny all took positions around her and they talked into the wee hours of the morning, catching up on each other's summers.

"Oh get this Hermione! We were playing quidditch with Charlie and Ron ran into him, knocking him off the broom and right on top of our Mum! It was bleeding hilarious." Ginny told her and they all toppled over in laughter, except for Ron, of course.

"Well mates, its time for me to head to bed," Ron announced and Ginny soon followed.

This left Harry and Hermione to themselves, looking at each other awkwardly. Harry moved over to her couch and sat close to her, taking Hermione's hands in his. She looked down but he released one of her hands and tilted her chin up, tears glistened off of her cheeks and she was biting down on her lower lip.

"Hermione I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't really believe that my death would really be for the best, please try to think about this, you've become my best friend over this summer," he trailed off, looking as though he wanted to say more, but instead shook his head.

"But Harry, how can I kill you? You're asking me to not only throw away your life, and my life but… possibility. Things that could happen. The possibility that you and I could be happy someday." She said quietly and continued, "I won't do this."

Harry sighed and pulled her into his strong, muscular arms, holding her as she cried quietly. He knew she would do whatever he asked of her, he'd do the same for her. If he didn't have to die there could be something there between them. He shook the thought from his head and stroked her hair.

Soon she fell asleep in his arms and he gently pulled himself away from her, stretching his tall, lean body and yawned. Harry looked down at her and wished at once that he didn't have to put her through this, he was sure she had her own personal hell and he would only add to it. He was asking her to die for him.

What will Hermione decide? Will she decide?


	2. Unreal

Thanks to all of my reviewers! I don't really know how to go about thanking you guys but I'll try to respond the best I can..

**Nynaeve80:** I'm glad that you're so excited about this, I didn't think anyone would really be for it, because it's kind of making Harry want to die a bit, of course..

**FayeLibra2317:** Thanks for your input, and you hit the nail on the head with some it. Which one? You'll have to find out. :)

**Disclaimer**: _I'd like to own the characters, but alas, I cannot._

**Chapter Two**: Unreal

Hermione woke up a bit cold, realizing that she wasn't in the Head Common Room and that the fire in front of her, in fact, was out. Her second realization came when she looked around and saw that it was not yet morning, but still night. It must have been a cat nap for her. She stood up and stretched, taking in the sights around her, then quickly smoothed down her robes and walked down the stairs and out of the portrait.

Her own portrait to the Head Common Room was two floors up and it took a bit of figuring to get there because of her sleep haze that was still present. When she arrived Hermione saw that the portrait was oddly enough, a stag. Life did have sort of a sick humor. Harry really must have been absurd. One can't guarantee that someone will fall in love with them. Silly, really. How was she supposed to get Mr. Potter to do so? James, that is.

"Struggle," Hermione muttered to the stag, and the portrait swung open.

She clambered the steps, eager to be off to bed, she figured it must have been around One o'clock in the morning. Upon reaching the common room she noted Malfoy sprawled out on one of the green couches. There were gold and green couches spread all over the common room, along with same colored draperies. It was better than her old common room, she decided, but defiantly didn't have that home-like feeling. The fire was still going and Malfoy started to twitch a little, as if sensing her presence.

_If only he wasn't such a wanker. He could be such a_—She cut off her train of thought. _Happiness is the key this year! _

Malfoy sat up lazily and looked over at Hermione, who was still standing at the entrance. Staring around in a sort of wonder. Every time she went over the room she found something else that was not in her old common room and made her realize the position she held at the school. Just below a teacher.

"About time," Malfoy started in a lazy drawl and continued, "We have much to discuss, Head Girl."

"Glad to see you haven't thought of another name to call me, for example: Mudblood, Filth, Unworthy of life, disgusting, Muggle-lover—" she could have gone on but Malfoy cut her off.

"Save it Granger, things are a bit different this year, if you couldn't tell, I'm not longer required to pretend that I hate people like you. Although you're proving there to be a reason to hate you, I'm only trying to help you and your friends right now. Please, sit down."

Slightly compelled, Hermione took a couch opposite of his and crossed her legs, setting her dainty hands on her lap, waiting patiently, "I'm listening."

"I know where your friends Weasley and Remus Lupin are right now, no doubt you do not. There is also no doubt that You-Know-Who is aware of their whereabouts and is currently waiting to ambush them at their desired location." He left off.

"What? Why didn't you go to the Headmistress about this?" She stood up, frantic.

"You think I didn't? She said that it would be a bit on the obvious side if a load of aurors showed up where they are. I would be instantly singled out as the leak, seeing how this plan was only formulated tonight. Really Granger, you can be really simple."

"Oh shove off Malfoy, I understand that you're trying to help and all, but you don't have to be a prat about it, you are to show me where I'm needed, I don't need anyone's help obviously if you're only going to me for help."

"In that you're correct, they're only sending a few Death Eaters, you, the Weasel, and Lupin should be able to take care of it neatly, you're just insurance really." Malfoy stopped and started to head down the stairs, "Follow me, now."

They descended the stair well quickly and made their way out of Hogwarts in records time, heading out of the castle doors and running towards the forbidden forest. Hermione's robes whipped behind her, making things awkward for her running situation. She kicked off her heels as she continued to run and stopped abruptly at the forests edge with Malfoy, "What now?" she asked.

"Touch this; it's a port-key." He said, pointing at an object on the ground.

With no hesitation she grabbed the object, feeling that it was a square sort of thing. She didn't care what it was as long as it took her to her friends. Malfoy was surprisingly a lot of help in this spy thing. This would certainly turn things around for him in her eyes after this night.

With a tug at her belly she found herself slammed into the ground, her head reeling and her stomach rolling. With no time to lose she picked up her wand that had been thrown away from her body when she hit the ground and got up, running towards the battle that went on about twenty feet away from her. Taking in her surroundings as she went, she saw that morning was upon them and she was in front of a tomb, or something like it. It was fitting, she decided and promptly tripped over a loose rock that was hidden in the tall grass.

The stars were still out and it was just dark enough that you couldn't really make out who was who until you got close. She refrained from casting off any hair brained spells. She snuck quietly as she got closer and realized that Ron was lying motionless on the ground and that five unknown bodies lied close to him. She saw that Remus was dueling two Death Eaters and losing quickly. Before she could open her mouth a bright green spell was thrown at his chest and he fell to the ground rapidly with a dull thud. She couldn't catch the spell but she was afraid she knew what it was.

Becoming panicked she yelled out "Diffindo!" and severed off one of the Death Eaters arms, and left it bleeding on the ground as she ran over to check on Ronald and Remus. She kneeled down on the ground next to Ron's body, touching his wrist for a pulse and feeling none. Silently she moved to Remus's body and did the same, not feeling a pulse.

With a low moan she felt pain ripping through her heart. They couldn't be dead. She just wouldn't accept it. If they were, though… "IMPERIO," she bellowed at the Death Eater who was helping its bleeding friend get off the ground.

The Death Eater jerked a bit before looking at her in a dream like state. Hermione showed no mercy as she muttered darkly, "Kill your friend."

Not bothering to watch the deed, she set to looking for signs of life in her friends. When she found none she began to weep silently, sending red sparks into the air. Hermione looked down at Ron's face, stroking the side of it lovingly.

"Oh my dear friend, my poor dear friend." She started, talking to his corpse.

"How could this happen to you? To Remus? What went wrong? Malfoy said…" she trailed off.

"Oh my god, Malfoy," and with a vigor she sent off more red sparks, impatiently waiting for help.

She clung to Ron's body, still crying, though from anger or despair she didn't know. She honestly didn't think anyone of her friends would be lost in this war. How wrong she was. How wrong the Headmistress was about Malfoy. He lied to her, lied to all of them. She bet he was high tailing it back to his master.

"Incarcerous," Hermione said, looking at the Death Eater and observed the ropes that appeared around its body. She stood up, curious for a moment, and walked over to the short Death Eater. Hoping that it was Malfoy she had captured. She wanted to do so many things to him, so many painful things.

"Bleeding, Bleeding, Bleeding bugger. Jerk. Prat. This is unforgivable," she said to herself, really not making much sense. This kind of anger can't make one have sense. Which normally she had plenty of.

She knelt down next to the Death Eater tenderly. Taking off its mask gingerly. To be elated and dissapointed at the same time. Peter Pettigrew. How quaint.

At last, someone came to her help. It was a family of wizards, containing a mother, a father, and two young children. They all had a full head of brown hair, common looking people.

"Please, apparate my friends away from here and come back for me later," she told them after being almost unable to bear their questions about what had happened, their consolations for her situation. She felt sick to her stomach. She just wanted Harry right now.

The family left her, they would no doubt alert Hogwarts of where she was and someone would be along to fetch her momentarily.

Not dissapointed, Headmistress Xylla showed up, concern written over her aged face. A face that looked like it had seen its share of unpleasantries during its lifetime. "What happened, dear?"

"What happened? Can you really ask me that? Malfoy happened! If you hadn't trusted Malfoy none of this would have happened! That skulking, conniving rat of a boy. But at least I have Pettigrew." She pointed down her makeshift seat which was smiling dreamily.

"Whats wrong with him?" the Headmistress asked.

"Imperius curse, I did it, turn me in if you'd like, I really don't care presently. I plan on getting my hands on young Malfoy anyways and I'll be in Azkaban for that.." she left off, thinking to herself.

"You'll do nothing of the sort, Miss Granger. You will go back to Hogwarts with me and lay yourself into bed. We will hold a funeral for your friends in the morrow. We all knew that the search for the Horocruxes would have casualties. You must bare it and move on, the fate of the wizarding world depends on whether or not people like you have the ability to regain their inner strength and strike a death blow to their forces. Buck up, dear," the Headmistress told her, coldly, "This is war."

The last thing she remembered was the Headmistress pointing her wand at Hermione and she fell into a deep blackness, a deep sleep of no dreams, of the peace she longed for since this nightmare started.

Uh oh.


End file.
